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The Back To School Survival Guide

OK, all you kids out there, is there anything that can invoke both fear and excitement at the same time as the phrase “Back To School?” The summer is fast coming to an end, the free and easy life of sleeping late and hanging out and video games is now over. But it also means new friends and new challenges.

However, the “Back To School” period is a dangerous time and you need to be prepared in order to survive the transition from carefree to regimented discipline.

Take Charge of Your Appearance

First of all, your parents are going to look at you and suddenly realize your look is no longer acceptable. God forbid if you’re going to be dragged kicking and screaming for a haircut in a style Mom deems appropriate. What you need to do is slip the barber or stylist a huge sum of money so minimal damage is inflicted upon your hair.

A little whisper of what YOU want, a wink, and the exchange of currency will help guarantee your scalp will remain intact. Mom may not be happy but she will think the barber did a bad job.

After the haircut comes the clothes shopping. Your parents used to be your age and they remember what it was like to go clothes shopping with their parents so they will try to be open minded with whatever the current styles are.

Parents are also getting older and suffer from the various ailments that come with old age and their failing memories will somehow translate to you needing to wear knickers with a little sailor suit and a hat with a ribbon in it. Knickers may actually work for girls but neither sex will be caught dead with a quaint straw hat accessorized with a ribbon and sailor suit.

There is only one course of action to take here and that is to whine as loudly as possible and to ignore your parents by being glued to your phone. Listen to music, play games, text your friends, and make the experience as miserable as possible for your parents. The goal is to make them give up on dressing you the way they want so you can point them in the direction of the ripped jeans and other cool garments.

Clothes shopping is a meeting of the minds so you need to dig down deep and be as obnoxious as possible. After all, there is a lot at stake here. Do you want to show up at school wearing a T-shirt with graphics of zombies devouring body parts or a sailor suit?

Crank Out Some School Work

Did you have a list of summer reading? Of which you naturally put off doing? No problem, there are two things you can do here. Many books teachers assign for summer reading have been made into movies. Just rent the movie from an online source and watch the video version. Or look for the Wikipedia description of what the book is about. It’s actually cool to read books but the summer is short so it’s best to spend it playing online games or getting a suntan. There will be enough books once school starts!

Then there is the essay your language teacher is going to make you write describing what you did during your summer vacation. Some things in life can’t be put off or avoided, that’s just the way it is. What makes these darn essays so difficult is you can’t remember everything you did and there is a deadline for turning the paper in.

What seems to work well though for cranking out an essay of what you did is to incorporate some of your recent dreams into the work. We all have dreams and remember them fairly well for the short term. Describing your encounter with an armed robber, crashing a speeding car (especially if you’re not old enough to drive) or describing your jungle hike through the Congo, you will find that using dreams will provide plenty of details for an action packed essay.

A little hint here: Your teacher makes you write an essay of your summer vacation because he or she wants to give you something light to start off the school year and to have an example of what you’re capable of doing. If you can demonstrate an ability for details and a flair of excitement, it will be an easy “A” if you can provide those kinds of things in your writing.

Your teacher will not be impressed because you reached level 8 of the latest video game during the course of the summer. Put your teacher on the edge of their seat with a vivid description of how your ship had to fend off Somali pirates during your African cruise!

When it comes to your teachers, the best thing to do is to do whatever you can to lower their expectations of you. Talk in class. Text your friends. Show up late. But you still need to do your studies and homework. You see, if you look and act like a slouch then they will think you’re a slouch.

But if you turn in your assignments and pass your tests, then your teacher will be pleasantly surprised and you’ll get through the semester without extra homework. They’ll be thinking a slouch can’t handle a larger load so you’ll be off the hook from getting additional schoolwork.

Well, that’s the Back To School Survival Guide. Now you’ll be able to wear cool clothes, wow your teachers on assignments, and receive as little homework as possible! Have a great school year and have fun!

Kevin Thomas is 30 year veteran of professional photography who loves to wrtie about his craft and life in general. You can check out Kevin’s photography portfolio at Dreamstime.com.